Demoralizing Dad---The Piano Showdown
There are two schools of thought on the whole let your kids win thing. One states that you should never let them win. They should have to earn it just as in real life. It builds confidence, strength, character and a greater appreciation of the victory. The other school of thought is to toss in the towel, let your kids win every once in a while. It builds confidence, strength, character and a greater appreciation of the victory. I'm torn on the whole issue. While I'm all for winning and building up of a child's confidence, I also believe that losing builds just as much confidence and strength of character. It takes a lot to come in second or third. I'm an also ran, always have been. As our local paper would recount our high school track and swim meets listing top finishers in each race, they also had the kindness to publish the names of all of the competitors in each race--the also rans. That was me. I never recall making it out of the also ran column. It's easy to be a winner, but you know what? Not everyone gets to be that person. Every race or competition is filled with also rans.
Some of you may recall how last week I was forced to find new and creative ways to get Zoë to practice her piano lessons. She's done much better and practices are enjoyable once again. An overwhelming number of those who commented (thanks Dan and Jen) asked about the actual sound bites that accompany my demoralizing. Sadly, I was unprepared that day. I did, however, put in minutes of practice this past week and challenged Zoë to another duel. A showdown. The competition was fierce, heated and over quickly. (Thank God!) It took her less than twenty minutes to completely dismantle any hope I may have had of becoming a reputable musician. Once again, I find myself listed as an also ran. Her dreams are thankfully still alive. Here are some selections from the heated battle that took place over the weekend in our house. The Piano Showdown.
Some of you may recall how last week I was forced to find new and creative ways to get Zoë to practice her piano lessons. She's done much better and practices are enjoyable once again. An overwhelming number of those who commented (thanks Dan and Jen) asked about the actual sound bites that accompany my demoralizing. Sadly, I was unprepared that day. I did, however, put in minutes of practice this past week and challenged Zoë to another duel. A showdown. The competition was fierce, heated and over quickly. (Thank God!) It took her less than twenty minutes to completely dismantle any hope I may have had of becoming a reputable musician. Once again, I find myself listed as an also ran. Her dreams are thankfully still alive. Here are some selections from the heated battle that took place over the weekend in our house. The Piano Showdown.
We were just discussing this over coffee this morning.
My brother coaches his local rugby team at the under 9 stage. This weekend they played in a five team tournament which included the top team in their year group - that team won obviously but they noted that rather than letting their nine year olds enjoy the game they were being shouted at from the touchline constantly by their coach and more so by their parents, my brother refereed one of the ten minutes games and was abused by those same parents - very sad really.
Another of the teams included some element of violence in their play which resulted in one of their opponent coaches refusing to let his team play against them - remember, this is nine year olds we're talking about, rugby is a tough game but at nine years old there are lots of safeguards built in to make it safe but more importantly enjoyable for your kids, a violent team goes against both of those ethos.
I fear the day I am exposed to that type of parent on the playing field. My son, Zane, takes soccer lessons. He is ultra competitive (has been brought to tears when his team "lost" the scrimmage that consists of the last 10 minutes of class and in which no one actually keeps score--except the kids.) We've had many discussions about sportsmanship this past year.
Each day before practice we go over a checklist of rules (all three of them) Rule #1--Have FUN Rule #2--Stay on your feet (he's five and likes to fall down a lot) Rule #3--Have FUN. I can't tell you how many times I have told him that if he can't have fun we don't need to participate.
Looks like your IDEA was as much a winner as Zoe herself! She likes competition, doesn't she? Or perhaps she just enjoys leaving her dad in the dust?
I was especially amused at the ruckus in the background...and how well both you and Zoe seemed to go about your task without hardly noticing the walls were shaking around you (except at that one point where I heard you in the background finally and firmly saying, "Okay, that's enough!").
With five kids, there is always a ruckus in the background. We like to think of it as ambiance.
The showdown was brilliant!
I don't see anything wrong with letting kids win once in awhile, but not very often. I do believe they should earn it.
Sadly--I did not let her win! She killed me.
She's good. Although I think she may have jinxed your performance with that little dance behind you.
At one point she was actually behind me putting on a hex. I edited that out. The dance was not helping me, though.
I emailed you this, but thought I'd post a link to it here as weel.
Amy and I have done a video response in true Youtube style.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BljBeFGLk6I
That is hillarious! Zoe kept asking--why are they doing that? And Zane wanted to know where the piano was.
"The look of confidence" - very inspirational! Zoe is very talented. Ed - you're more talented than me on the piano, but...not sure if that's saying much. Enjoyed the video very much!
I was clinging to the last shreds of my dignity. By the time we got to the two hand stuff I was spent!
Love your LSU shirt!! Just remember where she learned it from! What a cutie!
Oh, that old thing? I'm not sure a victory has ever been so sweet--especially living in Ohio rooting for the Tigers and finally being able to silence those arrogant Buckeye fans. But I digress.....
LOVED this! What a great idea and she is just a little firecracker, I LOVE her! And all the "background" noise, awesome. You at the end, don't you know, cheaters never win!
Didn't have time to do the museums in NYC although I really wanted to. It was a fast weekend but they are definitely on the top of my list for the next trip. My oldest especially wants to go too, she's read a lot about them so we'll have to experience it together.
If I'd of thought of this when we started there's no telling where she'd be. She loves to perform!
Dude, don't quit. You gots this! LOL! Listen, Zoe's cockiness may be her downfall. Here's what you do, buy another piano (Secretly) and practice on it (whenever you are supposed to be sleeping) until you feel that not only will you do dads everywhere justice, but squash the competition. This is a long term plan and will probably take like 14 years, but it will be soooo worth it, the look on her face...priceless. Now, get to saving up for that piano.
As much as I would love to vindicate dads all over the world, I'm not quite sure I've got it in me. I'm sorry, but this kid has mad skills!
Oh, I so wish I could watch videos! However, I'll comment on your post because I agree with you about losing being important. Losing creates the desire to improve and do better. So if you weren't good enough to win in the first place, then why lie to them. Besides they'll figure it out when they're adults and constantly losing at everything because they never had to care enough to try harder. I'm sorry I didn't word that very well... :-0
I understand exactly. Life's tough kid, get used to it!
Is that bad parenting?
it's clear, Zoë made you and Dan both 'also ran' listed people
Although Dan might just be a place above you because of the drama he put into his play
I must hand it to him--he's quite the showman!
WOW! Your little girl is fab. (I also love the background noise). It makes all the difference having support at home for practise - and this looks loads of fun. Zoe's CLEARLY loving trouncing you.
You have no idea how much she loves beating me. It's a quest--mind you an easy quest but a quest none the less.
The reason she beat you is because you don't have the tongue technique down yet. She demonstrates it skillfully in her last piece. Once you master that, you may be able to compete.
Even Zoe commented when she watched the video about her tongue. I've got enough problems trying to keep her fingers light, I dare not attempt to mess with the tongue position.