Mall Life, Not For These Geese...
Posted by Zoe's Dad at Sunday, April 08, 2007 12:08 AM and is filed under crazy animal activists,Kids,Pets 
So, I'm driving home today in my stinking Grand Caravan. I'm really not bitter. It's a great family car and my kids love it. It's just that exactly 10 years ago I bought a sweet little Miata. I remember having gone out that morning to get a haircut, cruised by the dealership just to look, and low and behold, five hours later and with $900 less in my bank account drove home in a new Miata. The deal clincher was that my golf clubs actually fit in the trunk. That's all it took. Sold! To the sucker that needs a haircut. But that's really another story altogether.
Today, I'm on my way home having completed some last minute errands for the Easter Bunny. I'm on a very busy boulevard that runs past the mall. Four lanes on each side. Loads of traffic. I round a corner and come very close to broadsiding a woman in an SUV which had turned itself across three of the four lanes and come to a complete stop. Flashers and all. "Holy, S*#@!. (I was alone in the car. I try not to use profanity in front of my kids although I feel certain they've begun to decipher some of my frustrated under my breath grumblings.) What a horrible place to break down." Then I saw the reason for this woman's precarious parking on such a busy street.
Two Canadian Geese meandering across the boulevard totally oblivious to the hoards of traffic they were inadvertently stopping. Meandering might actually imply a bit more haste or concern than the pair were actually showing for it was very apparent that they were in no hurry and not the least bit concerned about the possibility of imminent danger or death. The woman, on the other hand, was frantic. Waving her arms wildly yelling at the oncoming traffic to stop and let the geese pass. At first I thought, "How noble," and "My, what a truly moving display of concern for these poor unfortunate creatures."
I'll be the first to admit, I have a pretty soft spot for animals of all kinds. As a kid, I wanted to be a vet. I had dogs, cats, frogs, hamsters, rabbits..you name it. I remember crying when my pet turtle died. It was just a stinky old pond turtle that I somehow managed to catch in a butterfly net but he was cool and I was sorry when he passed. I had a special little place
in the backyard where I buried all of my pets that had gone on. I still consider myself a softy when it comes to animals. Except for snakes. My general rule about snakes is the only good snake is a dead snake. But since they are reptiles I suppose they don't really count as far as my discussion goes here. So anyway, I was moved at this woman's concern. Until...
I looked a bit harder at the woman and her precariously positioned SUV. My appreciation for her concern quickly transformed into outrage, for in the backseat of that SUV were two small children just as frantic not for the safety of the geese but their very own lives. I could literally see fear in their eyes as they watched helplessly as their crazy mother put them directly in the path of oncoming traffic. They both were screaming and crying and, at least it appeared to me, begging their mother to stop. This lady was no hero. She was an idiot. She endangered not only her life but mine, all of the other passengers and drivers in four lanes of oncoming traffic and most importantly, her own two children. And for what?! Two filthy, good for nothing, poop all over the place geese. I mean, come on now. I'll be the first to admit my general weakness when it comes to protecting defenseless animals but I'm pretty sure if I had to prioritize, my kids would come first. ON ANY LIST! What this lady did was careless, selfish and quite frankly borderline criminal.
I don't think these kids went home cheering, "Mommy saved the geese!" They were truly shaken. Me? Just pissed that someone given the tremendous responsibility and privilege of parenthood would risk it all for two geese that had obviously decided a life at the mall is just not a life worth living. Man, come to think of it, she screwed the geese, too.
Today, I'm on my way home having completed some last minute errands for the Easter Bunny. I'm on a very busy boulevard that runs past the mall. Four lanes on each side. Loads of traffic. I round a corner and come very close to broadsiding a woman in an SUV which had turned itself across three of the four lanes and come to a complete stop. Flashers and all. "Holy, S*#@!. (I was alone in the car. I try not to use profanity in front of my kids although I feel certain they've begun to decipher some of my frustrated under my breath grumblings.) What a horrible place to break down." Then I saw the reason for this woman's precarious parking on such a busy street.
Two Canadian Geese meandering across the boulevard totally oblivious to the hoards of traffic they were inadvertently stopping. Meandering might actually imply a bit more haste or concern than the pair were actually showing for it was very apparent that they were in no hurry and not the least bit concerned about the possibility of imminent danger or death. The woman, on the other hand, was frantic. Waving her arms wildly yelling at the oncoming traffic to stop and let the geese pass. At first I thought, "How noble," and "My, what a truly moving display of concern for these poor unfortunate creatures."
I'll be the first to admit, I have a pretty soft spot for animals of all kinds. As a kid, I wanted to be a vet. I had dogs, cats, frogs, hamsters, rabbits..you name it. I remember crying when my pet turtle died. It was just a stinky old pond turtle that I somehow managed to catch in a butterfly net but he was cool and I was sorry when he passed. I had a special little place
in the backyard where I buried all of my pets that had gone on. I still consider myself a softy when it comes to animals. Except for snakes. My general rule about snakes is the only good snake is a dead snake. But since they are reptiles I suppose they don't really count as far as my discussion goes here. So anyway, I was moved at this woman's concern. Until...I looked a bit harder at the woman and her precariously positioned SUV. My appreciation for her concern quickly transformed into outrage, for in the backseat of that SUV were two small children just as frantic not for the safety of the geese but their very own lives. I could literally see fear in their eyes as they watched helplessly as their crazy mother put them directly in the path of oncoming traffic. They both were screaming and crying and, at least it appeared to me, begging their mother to stop. This lady was no hero. She was an idiot. She endangered not only her life but mine, all of the other passengers and drivers in four lanes of oncoming traffic and most importantly, her own two children. And for what?! Two filthy, good for nothing, poop all over the place geese. I mean, come on now. I'll be the first to admit my general weakness when it comes to protecting defenseless animals but I'm pretty sure if I had to prioritize, my kids would come first. ON ANY LIST! What this lady did was careless, selfish and quite frankly borderline criminal.
I don't think these kids went home cheering, "Mommy saved the geese!" They were truly shaken. Me? Just pissed that someone given the tremendous responsibility and privilege of parenthood would risk it all for two geese that had obviously decided a life at the mall is just not a life worth living. Man, come to think of it, she screwed the geese, too.
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